Flatsharing, or living with your roommates, can be a rewarding and positive experience. Flatsharing can be an awesome way to reduce your costs, by sharing bills, utilities, and rent but it can also provide lifelong friendships, expand your social circle and strengthen and grow your overall safety and security. Working towards a successful flat share also requires open communication, and respect between you and your flatmates as you enter into the shared living.
This will be your full resource on flatsharing in the UK based on the experts’ prescribed guidelines to shared accommodation.
Establishing Good Foundations: Communication and Expectations
The secret to a low-stress flatshare actually starts before you move in. Hold a "flatmate summit" to talk about your expectations and lifestyles honestly. You should have a chat about everything from guest protocols and acceptable noise levels to your personal cleanliness level.Talking about the possible sources of conflict early in the relationship can help you start building a common understanding.
After moving in, continue the lines of communication. Group chat's a great way to have speedy communication about day-to-day matters, but for the most part when you want to have a more serious conversation or discuss particular issues with someone, having that one-on-one communication would get you better results.. For disagreements or misunderstandings take the time to calmly address and work through your disagreement in the moment which will allow you to resolve the issue or misunderstanding in a quicker, easier way and with less chance for miscommunication.
Mastering the Mundane: Chores and Bills
Nothing creates conflict faster than an uneven division of power or a messy financial situation. The trick is to be fair.
Chores: A revered tenet of flatsharing is that you are responsible for cleaning, you are also responsible to your co-flatsharer for cleaning. A fair division of chores should be made, although you may want to see if a cleaning rota will help keep everybody engaged (or at least accountable). You are all in this together and a little organization can make the experience easier for all. Don't forget about what personal items should be kept in your room, and use any storage provided instead of letting your belongings creep into shared space.
Bills: To avoid arguments (and keep the peace), agree a method of splitting the bill for rent, gas, electricity, internet fees, etc. You could do a bank transfer or use one of the many apps available to monitor all of the rolling costs. The key is to keep a clear account of what is owed at any one time, and ensure that everything is paid by everybody as quickly as possible, after all, that's how trust is built and peace of mind achieved!
How to Create a Culture of Respect
Respect in the home is essential to everyone living harmoniously together. Respect is necessary along with understanding that everyone needs ‘space’ to function.
Respecting Personal Space: Respect your flatmate's space through knocking. Go a step further and do not enter your flatmate’s room when they are not at home. Respect their privacy and that they also need their own space and a relaxing and quiet environment.
Being Considerate with Noise: There is nothing wrong with being an early riser or a late riser but be considerate of your flatmates and how noise may affect them or detract from their living situation. It is not unreasonable to be considerate of whether someone is asleep or quietly studying. As a rule of thumb, minimize noise levels during quiet hours. If you are having people over, let your flatmates know in advance and instruct your guests to be considerate of your flatmates who live in the same space.
Respecting Others Property: This is a simple but important rule - the rule is to always ask your flatmate before using or borrowing something that is not your property. Respect their property as if it was your own and be mindful that things may not be up for borrowing too!
Creating a Community
A good flat share will involve rules; but it can also be a very sociable experience. Arrange regular social activities where everybody can get together and bond, such as communal meals and movie nights. This inbuilt social network will help you develop your friend circle, and will give you company to help you combat loneliness.
To truly enjoy your flatshare, you have to realize that living with others is going to create dynamics that will require flexibility from everyone involved, and any agreements indicated will require compromises. There can be a good living experience for everyone involved if you agree to do the best you can to keep lines of communication open with your flatmates, maintain knowledge of previously established agreed upon ground rules; and act in good faith to collaborative work the shared responsibilities of your space. Then of course, for those issues that are more serious or you are unable to resolve, don't hesitate to reach out to your landlord or letting agent, who might be able to be a go-between, or provide guidance as to further action.
Conclusion
An awesome flatshare is about far more than the bills we share; it is about sharing the space that everyone is calling home. Getting it to work requires the understanding we need to keep the lines of communication open, honour the agreed to rules and stipulations, and gradually develop and maintain mutual respect. If you agree to do these things, then your living experience can evolve to be far more than a shared flatmate, and far more than shared tasks.
Frequently Asked Questions
What should I do if I have a flatmate that won't clean?
As to what cleaning means is subjective, the best option is to come to an agreement of a baseline standard and agree on some ground rules. Mark out a baseline standard for cleaning in communal spaces and agree on the rules.
You should consider using a cleaning rota so all flatmates know what the requirements are, each other's responsibility and can hold each other accountable for it.
What is the best way to split bills with flatmates?
Money is one of the biggest sources of arguments, so you want a clear way to manage these decisions. Agree on how the bills will be paid and an even split of the costs. Use instant transfers via a bank app or direct upload of subscribed expenses to keep track of expenses and payments. Having transparency with anything financially is important as it builds trust.
How do I handle a noisy flatmate or their guests?
You both need to keep each other informed of each other's activities. If you're having guests, or your flatmate has guests, then you should provide each other some courtesy and consideration and respect noise levels. You should always respect quiet hours and separate personal spaces or options for socialising.
I am super annoyed that my flatmate continuously borrows my stuff how do I deal with this?
Generally, people must respect other peoples' property. As a rule of thumb, unless you ask, don't borrow some else's stuff. If you intentionally set initial ground rules or boundaries, you minimize situations of misinterpretation and damage to your property.
what if there is an issue with a flatmate and it is having a negative impact on my life?
With conflict you want to work towards constructing an outcome. Face-to-face is likely to produce the best outcomes; allow the other person to finish their speaking at reasonable length, and clearly state your own position.
